lazy psychedelia Yah, rrright. There are 2s alright, but note the plural, the collective in that. 2 families, their desires and assumptions. 2 extended sets of relatives, colleagues and friends. And 2 objectives, namely yours and your family's. Yours (if like J and I, you are also very lazy and have a general dislike for rituals) will be to just get this whole thing over and done with, with everyone having as relaxing and enjoyable a time as possible. While your folks' concerns, despite all good intentions and well wishes, will be to tread successfully the minefield of relatives and their sensitivities. This, the Chinese call, maintaining "face". In such a situation, lazy us will typically opt for the path of least resistance - i.e. give the folks what they want. But we stand firm on these things which are way too personal for compromises. 1. No expensive diamond rings - why does a girl/boy need diamonds? 2. No wedding costumes, white or ivory - it's not hallow