once upon a time...

TOHA/J's annual company dinner event on Saturday was supposed to be themed "Fairy Tale" - but it was telling how Disneyfied we have been that even though many of the characters his colleagues were dressed as were first born into stories and books outside of that entertainment conglomerate, the costumes were decidedly modelled on how the characters have appeared in their Disney reincarnations. America's wealth, our visual culture's poverty.

Surprising even himself, J decided to attend and even donned his new black/white striped t-shirt in an attempt to create a costume.

Y: Er, maybe I am getting old, but which fairy tale features a convict???
J: I'm not a convict! I'm a pirate!
Y: Hmmm. [Still unconvinced that pirates are fairy-tale material]
J: I just need an eye patch.
Y: Where can you find one now?
J: The pharmacy.
Y: They only sell real eye patches, the white hospital ones. You'll look like a very inept pirate whose eye was taken out by your pet parrot instead of at some fierce and dirty fight.
J: Oh.
Y: I know, I'll make you an eye patch! [rummages the drawers for some black fabric, and failing to find any T-shirt to sacrifice... until] Hey, there's this black G-string my sister bought me. I've never worn it and won't ever...so you don't mind yah? wearing an eye patch made from a G-string?
J: Er...
Y: You have no choice anyway.

After 30 minutes of industrious sewing...

dangerous reptile being slaughtered by an even more dangerous one-eyed pirate

But in the end, despite the amazing transformation of the G-string into an eye patch and convincing demonstrations of how a pirate should behave, J decided he was a character in his own meta-fairy tale instead, with a paintbrush behind his ear. "I will tell them I am an illustrator, a Disney animator."


Ah, Walt wins again and we all live happily ever after.


Unknown said…
what an unadventurous pirate! i thought the g-string idea was really ingenious.


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