Dream Numbers - click for larger pic
Pa J spends a good amount of whatever cash he has in his pocket each week betting on toto and 4D, and has been doing so for as long as J remembers. Several times in his lifetime, Pa J has made the top few prizes. However few and far between those wins are, and however quickly the winnings are whittled away, Pa J still hangs on to the hope, at age 72, of scoring the winning bet of his life. Perhaps it is the fact that his wife is bedridden and there is nothing much left of her now he recognises but her unlovable difficult stubborn-ness. Perhaps there's now a closer realisation of his own mortality and the desire to be able to leave his children a more substantial inheritance - that they may remember him more fondly.
There are days of unending work and obstacles (like today!) when I, too, can imagine how easy it is to just dream of easy money, easy living. Then how much easier it is for a man who has held those tens of thousands, felt that giddy mix of relief and elation, and who now has nothing left to distract him from this memory of a singular, uncomplicated happiness.
So now, to sleep.